I goddam broke it

I stayed in the bar till about 1 o'clock getting drunk as a bastard. I started that stupid business with the bullet in my guts again. Exept this time in public. I soon left and stumbled over to a phone booth. I thought I would give Jane a buzz, but by the time I got there I didn’t feel like ringing her, I was too drunk I guess and I just didn't feel like it. So instead, what I did was, I gave old Sally Hayes a buzz. She didn't answer, her Grandmother did but I soon got her on the phone . After a long drunken conversation where Sally kept shouting at me to stop screaming, I stayed in the phone booth holding onto the phone, to keep me standing I guess. I decided to take a walk to Central park to see if the ducks were around. Just I got in the park though I did a terrible thing and dropped Pheobes goddam record. It broke into about 50 pieces. It made me feel so damn terrible I nearly cried. I didn't want to just leave the pieces though so I picked them up and put them in my pocket. I must have been drunker than I thought because I couldn’t find the lagoon. When I finally found it, it was half frozen and half not and there were no ducks in sight. I was shivering like hell, I had little chunks of ice on the back of my head. I thought I might get pneumonia and die. I started to imagine the mob that would come to my funeral. It’d be just like Allies funeral with all the aunts and what not coming over.I wasn't actually at Allies funeral though like he wasn't at mine .Anyway, when the weathers nice my parents go and put a bunch of flowers on Allies grave. I used to go with them but I soon cut it out. It annoyed the hell outta me when as soon as it rained people would rush to their cars and go somewhere nice for dinner, wasn't too bad when it was a nice day though. I decided to go home as I wanted to speak to Pheobe. I would sneak in while my parents were asleep so they didn't know I was there. I walked the whole way home, although it wasn't too far. I wasn't actually tired or even dunk anymore, I was just cold and there was no-one around.