I met Sally at the Biltmore. She looked good, she apoligised for being late but I said I didn't mid. I really didn't, the way she looked made up for it. We horsed around a bit in the cab down to the theatre, i'm a madman really I am. The maddest bit about it was I actually meant it! We went in and sat down, the old couple in it were really good I have to admit but they knew they were good so it just ruined it. At the break we stood with a loada jerks smoking cigarettes.
Sally recognised some guy she knew from way back. He saw her and came over. It irritated me like mad, they were flirting so goddam much. After the show he walked out with us, Sally invited him for a drink but he said he had to meet someone, thank god.
Me and Sally went skating at Radio City, she got to wear this tiny blue dress. She kept walking in front of me so I could see her tiny little bum. I gotta admit, it was nice. We were the worse goddam skaters on that ice rink, at last Sally asked if we should go in the cafe. In the cafe we got into this conversation. I'll admit I got carried away with a rant. In the end we started arguing and I called her a royal pain in the ass. Boy was she mad. She was crying and everything, she told me to leave. I apoligised like a mad man but she wasn't having any of it. Man did I regret it.
Sunday, 30 September 2007
Little Shirley Beans
I went on a long walk because I wasnt meeting Sally till two o'clock. I couldn’t stop thinking about the nuns and their crumby suitcases. I wanted to find a record store in Broadway to get Phoebe a record called ‘Little Shirley Beans’. It was really hard to get and I guessed if I could get it anywhere it would be there.It was about a kid who loses her two front teeth. I thought it would be good for Pheobe. She understands anything I talk to her about. Theere was a family walking infront of me. They looked sorta poor but like a proper family. The kid looked great, he was just walking on the road, right next to the curb singing to himself. ‘If a body catch a body coming through the rye.’ His Mum and Dad weren't paying attention to him. He just kept on singing to himself. The first storee I went in had the record, they charged me 5 bucks for it because it was so hard to get, but I didn’t care,I just wanted to give it to Pheobe. I felt like giving Jane a buzz when I came outta the store, so I did, but her Mum answered so I hung up. I wasn't too crazy about the thought of talking to her Mum over the phone. I went to get tickets for some benifit performance that me and sally could see. She was so phoney I knew she would love it.
I knew Pheobe liked skating in the park on Sundays so I went over there to see if she was there. Some kid on the park told me she would be in the museum. In the end I knew she wouldn't be becuase it was Sunday, but I wanted to go anywhere. I like the museum, it would just be the same as it was when I last went in when I was a kid. I walked all the way to the goddam museum but as I got the the door I didn't want to go in, I just got a goddam taxi to meet Sally.
I knew Pheobe liked skating in the park on Sundays so I went over there to see if she was there. Some kid on the park told me she would be in the museum. In the end I knew she wouldn't be becuase it was Sunday, but I wanted to go anywhere. I like the museum, it would just be the same as it was when I last went in when I was a kid. I walked all the way to the goddam museum but as I got the the door I didn't want to go in, I just got a goddam taxi to meet Sally.
The Two Nuns
I didn't sleep much, I think it was about 10 o'clock when I woke up. I felt pretty hungry as soon as I smoked a cigarette. The last thing I had eaten was those two hamburgers with Brossard and Ackely when we went into Agerstown to the movies. It seemed like about 50 years ago. I started to call for some breakfast but I was sorta scared they would send it up with old Maurice. I thought of giving old Jane a buzz, but I wasn't in the mood.
Instead I rung Sally Hayes, and aranged to meet her at two o'clock. I checked out of the hotel and took a taxi to grand central station. I checked my back in one of those luggage holders.
I was having a big breakfast at the railway station, and there were two nuns on the next table. I had a conversation and I gave them a ten dollar donation. I discussed Romeo and Juliet with them, I didn't actually expect them to have seen it. I enjoyed talking to the nuns. I wish I had given them a bigger donation, all money does is make you miserable.
Instead I rung Sally Hayes, and aranged to meet her at two o'clock. I checked out of the hotel and took a taxi to grand central station. I checked my back in one of those luggage holders.
I was having a big breakfast at the railway station, and there were two nuns on the next table. I had a conversation and I gave them a ten dollar donation. I discussed Romeo and Juliet with them, I didn't actually expect them to have seen it. I enjoyed talking to the nuns. I wish I had given them a bigger donation, all money does is make you miserable.
Goddam Movies
After Sunny had gone, I sat and smoked a couple of cigarettes. Boy I felt so goddam depressed. What I did, I started sorta talking out loud to Allie. I do it sometimes when i'm really depressed. I kept telling him to go back to get his bike and meet me infront of Bobby Fallons house. Bobby Fallon was this kid that used to live near us in Main, years ago. We were kids and thought we could shoot something with our BB guns, Allie heard us talking about it and wanted to come along. I told him to hurry up, it isn't that I didn't used to take him places or anything but that day I didn't. He didn't get sore about it, he never got sore about anything. Anyway, it just depressed me.
Finally I got undressed and went to bed, I felt like praying or something but I can't sometimes when I feel like it. I'm sort of atheist, I like Jesus and all but I don't really care for much else in the bible. Take the disciples, they were about as much use as a hole in the head to Jesus, they annoyed the hell outta me. The guy I liked best in the bible next Jesus was that lunatic and all, that lived in the tombs on his own and cut himself with stones. I liked him ten times as much as I like the disciples. I used to get into quite a few arguments at Whooton about it.
Anyway, I was in bed and all, I couldn't pray worth a damn. Finally I sat up and smoked another cigarette. All of a sudden, outta nowhere someone knocked on my door, I kept hoping it wasn't my door they were knocking on but I just knew it was. I knew who it was too, i'm psychic. I was pretty scared and asked who's there, I am pretty yellow about those things. All they did though was knock again, this time louder. I just got outta bed with my pajamas on and opened the door, I didn't need the light on as it was already daylight outside. Sunny and Maurice were stood there, I paid her already I said. He said he had told me it was ten bucks a throw which was a lie. I wasn't gona give him an extra five bucks, however much he asked me. He pushed me with his big crumby hand, I damn near fell over. I'd wished I was dressed at least. The next thing I knew, him and Sunny were in the goddam room. He kept trying to get the extra five bucks of me, I told him I don't owe him a cent. He told me to give him the money, kept calling me chief, i just said No. When I said it though, he got up and started walking towards me, with his big hairy chest out and all. My voice was shakin like a bastard by this time, I told him to leave me alone and get the hell out but he just sottod over me. Sunny got the five bucks outta my wallet and told Maurice to stop hurting me, Maurice said he wasn't hurting me and snapped his finger on my pajamas. I won't tell you where he snapped it but it goddam hurt. I sorta lost it then, I was crying still, I called him a stupid chiseling moron. I went on with myself abit untill he smacked me. I didn't even try and get out of the way or anything. They both went out of the door, I didn't move or anything I just lay on the floor the same way I did with Stradlater. In the end I got up and started heading towards the bathroom. I'm a madman though really I am. I'll tell you what I did, I started pretending i'd got a bullet in my chest and blood was trickling outta my mouth a bit at a time. I imagined I went downstairs and then i'd ring the elevator bell. When old Maurice saw me he's ask me to leave him alone, but i'd just plug him. Then i'd throw my automatic down the shaft and make my way back up to my room where Jane would take care of me and give me a cigarette to smoke. The goddam movies, the can ruin anything. I'm not kidding.
Finally I got undressed and went to bed, I felt like praying or something but I can't sometimes when I feel like it. I'm sort of atheist, I like Jesus and all but I don't really care for much else in the bible. Take the disciples, they were about as much use as a hole in the head to Jesus, they annoyed the hell outta me. The guy I liked best in the bible next Jesus was that lunatic and all, that lived in the tombs on his own and cut himself with stones. I liked him ten times as much as I like the disciples. I used to get into quite a few arguments at Whooton about it.
Anyway, I was in bed and all, I couldn't pray worth a damn. Finally I sat up and smoked another cigarette. All of a sudden, outta nowhere someone knocked on my door, I kept hoping it wasn't my door they were knocking on but I just knew it was. I knew who it was too, i'm psychic. I was pretty scared and asked who's there, I am pretty yellow about those things. All they did though was knock again, this time louder. I just got outta bed with my pajamas on and opened the door, I didn't need the light on as it was already daylight outside. Sunny and Maurice were stood there, I paid her already I said. He said he had told me it was ten bucks a throw which was a lie. I wasn't gona give him an extra five bucks, however much he asked me. He pushed me with his big crumby hand, I damn near fell over. I'd wished I was dressed at least. The next thing I knew, him and Sunny were in the goddam room. He kept trying to get the extra five bucks of me, I told him I don't owe him a cent. He told me to give him the money, kept calling me chief, i just said No. When I said it though, he got up and started walking towards me, with his big hairy chest out and all. My voice was shakin like a bastard by this time, I told him to leave me alone and get the hell out but he just sottod over me. Sunny got the five bucks outta my wallet and told Maurice to stop hurting me, Maurice said he wasn't hurting me and snapped his finger on my pajamas. I won't tell you where he snapped it but it goddam hurt. I sorta lost it then, I was crying still, I called him a stupid chiseling moron. I went on with myself abit untill he smacked me. I didn't even try and get out of the way or anything. They both went out of the door, I didn't move or anything I just lay on the floor the same way I did with Stradlater. In the end I got up and started heading towards the bathroom. I'm a madman though really I am. I'll tell you what I did, I started pretending i'd got a bullet in my chest and blood was trickling outta my mouth a bit at a time. I imagined I went downstairs and then i'd ring the elevator bell. When old Maurice saw me he's ask me to leave him alone, but i'd just plug him. Then i'd throw my automatic down the shaft and make my way back up to my room where Jane would take care of me and give me a cigarette to smoke. The goddam movies, the can ruin anything. I'm not kidding.
Sunny & Maurice
I walked back to the hotel, forty-one gorgeous blocks. Not because I wanted to or anything, just didn't want to get into another taxicab. I get tired of riding in taxi's, the same way you can get tired of riding in elevators. You just have to walk.
There was hardly any snow around at all, you wouldn't actually know it had snowed at all. It was really cold so I pulled my hunting hat out and put it on. I wish I knew who'd swiped my gloves from Pencey, it really was goddam freezing. I wouldn't have actually done much even if I had known though. I mean i'm a pretty yellow guy really. I mean if I had known, I probably woulda just gone down there and threatened to hit the guy, but I wouldn't have actually planned to do it. I am a pretty yellow guy. Anyway, I thought about how it isn't fun to be yellow all the way back to the hotel. I mean, i'm not one of these guys that actually care much when they lose something, I know it's no excuse but I really don't.
I hate fist fights, I don't mind being hit too much, obviously i'm not crazy about it but I just can't stand looking at another guys face while i'm fighting him. I probably wouldn't be too bad if I could be blindfolded or something.
I had only had three drinks at Ernies, I am really good at drinking and not showing it. This one time, at Whooton School, this other boy, Raymond Goldfarb and I, bought this bottle of Scotch and drank it. He got stinking but I was fine, I was sick before I went to bed but I didn't actually need to be a just forced myself.
Before I got back to the hotel I thought about going in this bar, but two guys came out stinking, drunk as hell. I decided not even to go into the goddam bar and just went back to the hotel instead. When I got into the elevator there was this guy asking me if I was interested in 'having a good time'. I lied about my age, and ended up booking a prostitue for five bucks. As soon as I agreed to it I regreted it but it was too late to stop it now.
When I got back to my room I got dressed and brushed my teeth, so it wouldn't stink of cigarettes and Scotch. I know you don't have to get dolled up for these things but I was pretty nervous and it was something to do. I was feeling sexy and all but still nervous, if you want to know the truth, i'm a virigin. I've had quite a few opportunities to lose my virginity and everything but something has always gone wrong or it's just been the wrong time. Or the girl your with keeps saying stop, most guys don't stop but I do. I can't help it.
Anyway, as I was putting on a clean shirt I figured this was my chance to get some practice, with her being a prostitute and all. I was walking round the room waiting for this prostitute to show up, I kept hoping she's be good looking, I didn't care too much though I just wanted to get it over with. Finally there was a knock at the door and on the way to get it I tripped over my suitcase. I damn near broke my knee, great timing!
When I opened the door this prostitute was there, you could tell she died her hair but she was no old bag. She looked really nervous for a prositute, she really did. She only looked around my age, she was asking what my age was. When I told her I was twenty two, she suprised me when she said "like fun you are" I expected something like "cut the crap". It was sorta a childish thing to say, I asked her how old she was and she just said old enough to know better, she was really witty.
She just stood up and pulled her dress over her head, sure made me feel peculiar when she did that, I know your supposed to feel sexy and all,but I didn't. I was feeling depressed rather than sexy.
She asked if I had a watch again and she just sat on the bed, all she had on was this pink slip, it was actually really embarresing. I was feeling goddam peculiar this time and when she said let's go I just asked if she wantedto talk for a bit. I'm a madman I really am. She sat on my knee, I just wanted to talk. She got bored after a while and she just kept saying let's go. I told her I had had an operation on my back and I couldn't do anything, she just said I was cute. She made me so goddam nervous I just kept lying my head off.
By the end she gave me this goddam dirty look, she didn't seem happy at all. I told her i'd pay her, she asked why i'd told Maurice I wanted a girl if I had had an operation. I just kept lying. I gave her five bucks outta my wallet, then she said it cost ten. I told her about how Maurice said it was 5 for a throw, fifteen till noon. I wouldn't shell out any more than five, she just got her dress and said "So long crumb-bum". I said so long, didn't thank her or anything, and i'm gald I didn't.
There was hardly any snow around at all, you wouldn't actually know it had snowed at all. It was really cold so I pulled my hunting hat out and put it on. I wish I knew who'd swiped my gloves from Pencey, it really was goddam freezing. I wouldn't have actually done much even if I had known though. I mean i'm a pretty yellow guy really. I mean if I had known, I probably woulda just gone down there and threatened to hit the guy, but I wouldn't have actually planned to do it. I am a pretty yellow guy. Anyway, I thought about how it isn't fun to be yellow all the way back to the hotel. I mean, i'm not one of these guys that actually care much when they lose something, I know it's no excuse but I really don't.
I hate fist fights, I don't mind being hit too much, obviously i'm not crazy about it but I just can't stand looking at another guys face while i'm fighting him. I probably wouldn't be too bad if I could be blindfolded or something.
I had only had three drinks at Ernies, I am really good at drinking and not showing it. This one time, at Whooton School, this other boy, Raymond Goldfarb and I, bought this bottle of Scotch and drank it. He got stinking but I was fine, I was sick before I went to bed but I didn't actually need to be a just forced myself.
Before I got back to the hotel I thought about going in this bar, but two guys came out stinking, drunk as hell. I decided not even to go into the goddam bar and just went back to the hotel instead. When I got into the elevator there was this guy asking me if I was interested in 'having a good time'. I lied about my age, and ended up booking a prostitue for five bucks. As soon as I agreed to it I regreted it but it was too late to stop it now.
When I got back to my room I got dressed and brushed my teeth, so it wouldn't stink of cigarettes and Scotch. I know you don't have to get dolled up for these things but I was pretty nervous and it was something to do. I was feeling sexy and all but still nervous, if you want to know the truth, i'm a virigin. I've had quite a few opportunities to lose my virginity and everything but something has always gone wrong or it's just been the wrong time. Or the girl your with keeps saying stop, most guys don't stop but I do. I can't help it.
Anyway, as I was putting on a clean shirt I figured this was my chance to get some practice, with her being a prostitute and all. I was walking round the room waiting for this prostitute to show up, I kept hoping she's be good looking, I didn't care too much though I just wanted to get it over with. Finally there was a knock at the door and on the way to get it I tripped over my suitcase. I damn near broke my knee, great timing!
When I opened the door this prostitute was there, you could tell she died her hair but she was no old bag. She looked really nervous for a prositute, she really did. She only looked around my age, she was asking what my age was. When I told her I was twenty two, she suprised me when she said "like fun you are" I expected something like "cut the crap". It was sorta a childish thing to say, I asked her how old she was and she just said old enough to know better, she was really witty.
She just stood up and pulled her dress over her head, sure made me feel peculiar when she did that, I know your supposed to feel sexy and all,but I didn't. I was feeling depressed rather than sexy.
She asked if I had a watch again and she just sat on the bed, all she had on was this pink slip, it was actually really embarresing. I was feeling goddam peculiar this time and when she said let's go I just asked if she wantedto talk for a bit. I'm a madman I really am. She sat on my knee, I just wanted to talk. She got bored after a while and she just kept saying let's go. I told her I had had an operation on my back and I couldn't do anything, she just said I was cute. She made me so goddam nervous I just kept lying my head off.
By the end she gave me this goddam dirty look, she didn't seem happy at all. I told her i'd pay her, she asked why i'd told Maurice I wanted a girl if I had had an operation. I just kept lying. I gave her five bucks outta my wallet, then she said it cost ten. I told her about how Maurice said it was 5 for a throw, fifteen till noon. I wouldn't shell out any more than five, she just got her dress and said "So long crumb-bum". I said so long, didn't thank her or anything, and i'm gald I didn't.
Tuesday, 25 September 2007
My Playlist
New York New york
I don’t like Mondays
Sex Bomb
Peter pantheme tune
Sister Act Happy days song
I gotta get through this
I’m in the mood for dancing
Somewhere else
Oxyge
The pretender
Stop the clocks
Here without you
The great escape
Let it snow
I wanna break free
Yellow
The boulevard of broken dreams
Sweet Child Of Mine
Give Me Shelter
I Will Always Love You
I don’t like Mondays
Sex Bomb
Peter pantheme tune
Sister Act Happy days song
I gotta get through this
I’m in the mood for dancing
Somewhere else
Oxyge
The pretender
Stop the clocks
Here without you
The great escape
Let it snow
I wanna break free
Yellow
The boulevard of broken dreams
Sweet Child Of Mine
Give Me Shelter
I Will Always Love You
My Sonnet
Movies I hate, God dam they are phoney
Don’t leave my side I hate being lonely
Don’t talk to me like that, don’t call me kid
In winter do the ducks go to Madrid?
Why does Stradlater have to be so vain?
He best not have laid a finger, on Jane
I was so upset when, old Allie died
When Stradlater hit me, I damn near cried
I think there is something wrong, with my mind
Maybe I should get, Psychoanalyzed
The crumby hotel, full of damn perverts
I hate that pimp, my stomach still damn hurts
I want to stay young, don’t let me grow old
Keep reading my book, watch my life unfold
Don’t leave my side I hate being lonely
Don’t talk to me like that, don’t call me kid
In winter do the ducks go to Madrid?
Why does Stradlater have to be so vain?
He best not have laid a finger, on Jane
I was so upset when, old Allie died
When Stradlater hit me, I damn near cried
I think there is something wrong, with my mind
Maybe I should get, Psychoanalyzed
The crumby hotel, full of damn perverts
I hate that pimp, my stomach still damn hurts
I want to stay young, don’t let me grow old
Keep reading my book, watch my life unfold
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
The ducks in the winter
I got in the cab, goddam it smelt. The thing that made it worse though was the fact that it was so goddam quiet out, even though it was Saturday night. I could hardly see anyone around! I was wishing I could just go home and shoot the bull with Pheobe, but after a while I sorta struck up conversation with the cab driver. His name was Horwitz, he was a better driver than the others i'd had. I asked him whether he knew where the ducks go in the winter. Goddam he got impatient about it. He wasn't a bad guy though. I told him about how they can't ignore the ice! He kept telling me to use my goddam head...but he wasn't a bad sorta guy. I obviously wasn't going to get an answer out of him so I dropped it. Once we got there I asked him if he'd like a drink, he just asked how old I was, I didn't answer him, just told him I wasn't tired so I didn't need to go to bed! It was pretty late but Ernies was packed. You could hardly even check your coat it was so crowded, but it was pretty quiet, because Ernie was playing. Everyone was pushing to try and see him, big deal. You couldn't even see his fingers while he played, just his big dumb old face. I don't know what it was he was playing but he wasn't half sucking it up. He was putting loades of fancy trills on the high notes. You should have heard the crowd once he finished, it was enough to make you puke! People always cheer and clap for the wrong things. If I were a piano player, i'd play in the goddam closet, I wouldn't want people sucking up to me like that, it's so phoney! Old Ernie gave this really phoney humble guy, ha! as if he was humble. It really was very phoney! I damn near got my coat and headed back to the hotel it made me so depressed, though I didn't feel much like being alone, so I stuck around.
Anyway, I finally got a table, up at the goddam wall behind a post where I couldn't see anything, it was one of those tiny ones that the people at the table wouldn't move to let you past, the bastards! It was one of those that you practically had to climb over the other tables just to get through. I was surrounded by jerks, one guy was telling the girl he was with about a pro football game he'd seen earlier that day. He was the most boring guy I had ever listened to, I swear it.
Ugly girls have it tough, I really feel sorry for them sometimes. On the other side there was this Joe Yale guy giving the girl he was with a feel under the table. She was good looking, but still it really wasn't what you should do in a public place.
All of a sudden this girl came over to me, it was Lillian Simmons. She went around with my brother D.B for a while. God she had big knockers! She really wanted to know how D.B was, you shoulda seen her when I told her he was in Hollywood, she was so interested. She introduced me to the Navy guy she was with, his name was Commander Blop or something.. he was one of those guys who thought he was a pansy or something if he didn't break all your fingers when he shook your hand! She was holding up the whole goddam aisle, I don't think she even noticed. The Navy guy did though and asked her to come on. She asked me join them but I told her I was leaving to meet someone. Then she left, I told the Navy guy I was glad to have met him. It kills me that when you tell someone you were glad to meet them and you weren't at all glad about it. After I had told her I was leaving, I had to leave, It made me pretty mad, why do people always have to ruin things for you?
Anyway, I finally got a table, up at the goddam wall behind a post where I couldn't see anything, it was one of those tiny ones that the people at the table wouldn't move to let you past, the bastards! It was one of those that you practically had to climb over the other tables just to get through. I was surrounded by jerks, one guy was telling the girl he was with about a pro football game he'd seen earlier that day. He was the most boring guy I had ever listened to, I swear it.
Ugly girls have it tough, I really feel sorry for them sometimes. On the other side there was this Joe Yale guy giving the girl he was with a feel under the table. She was good looking, but still it really wasn't what you should do in a public place.
All of a sudden this girl came over to me, it was Lillian Simmons. She went around with my brother D.B for a while. God she had big knockers! She really wanted to know how D.B was, you shoulda seen her when I told her he was in Hollywood, she was so interested. She introduced me to the Navy guy she was with, his name was Commander Blop or something.. he was one of those guys who thought he was a pansy or something if he didn't break all your fingers when he shook your hand! She was holding up the whole goddam aisle, I don't think she even noticed. The Navy guy did though and asked her to come on. She asked me join them but I told her I was leaving to meet someone. Then she left, I told the Navy guy I was glad to have met him. It kills me that when you tell someone you were glad to meet them and you weren't at all glad about it. After I had told her I was leaving, I had to leave, It made me pretty mad, why do people always have to ruin things for you?
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
Jane Gallager
I still had old Jane on the mind. I was pretty sure Stradlater hadn't give her the time, I know her like a book. It took me a while to get Jane to stop giving me the freeze the first time I ever said hello to her, because my mum made a big stink about her dog relieving itself on our grass! I had to convince her that I didn't care where her dog did its thing! Anyway, we soon got friends after that, me and Jane.
We spent alot of time with Jane Gallager, but I only got close to necking with her once. I remember that afternoon. We were sat playing checkers in her porch, she had all her Kings on the back row. All of a sudden the booze hound her Mum was married to and asked Jane if there were any cigarettes at the house. I didn't know him well but I knew he had a lousy personality. Jane ignored him, he asked her twice but she didn't answer, she just stared down at the game. When the guy finally went back in the house I asked Jane what the hell was going on. Then all of a sudden, a big tear just dropped onto the keyboard, boy, I can still see it now. It bothered the hell outta me, I don't know why. She wouldn't tell me what was going on! I just told her to move over and sat down next to her, I was practically on her knee! Before I knew it, I was kissing her all over, her eyes, ears, nose, head, but just not her mouth. She sorta wouldn't let me get to her mouth. After a while she went in and put on this red and white sweater and we went to the cinema. That knocked me out. Anyway, that was the closest we ever got to necking.
Anyway, thats what I was thinking when I was sat in the lobby. When I looked round there was hardy anyone in the lobby anymore, even the whory blondes had gone. All of a sudden I felt like getting the hell outta there. I went downstairs and got a cab and told the cab driver to take me to Ernies. D.B. used to take me there, Ernie is this big coloured guy that plays the piano. He's a terrific snob, but he really can play the piano. But sometimes he plays, you can tell he's the sorta guy who won't talk to you unless your a big shot.
We spent alot of time with Jane Gallager, but I only got close to necking with her once. I remember that afternoon. We were sat playing checkers in her porch, she had all her Kings on the back row. All of a sudden the booze hound her Mum was married to and asked Jane if there were any cigarettes at the house. I didn't know him well but I knew he had a lousy personality. Jane ignored him, he asked her twice but she didn't answer, she just stared down at the game. When the guy finally went back in the house I asked Jane what the hell was going on. Then all of a sudden, a big tear just dropped onto the keyboard, boy, I can still see it now. It bothered the hell outta me, I don't know why. She wouldn't tell me what was going on! I just told her to move over and sat down next to her, I was practically on her knee! Before I knew it, I was kissing her all over, her eyes, ears, nose, head, but just not her mouth. She sorta wouldn't let me get to her mouth. After a while she went in and put on this red and white sweater and we went to the cinema. That knocked me out. Anyway, that was the closest we ever got to necking.
Anyway, thats what I was thinking when I was sat in the lobby. When I looked round there was hardy anyone in the lobby anymore, even the whory blondes had gone. All of a sudden I felt like getting the hell outta there. I went downstairs and got a cab and told the cab driver to take me to Ernies. D.B. used to take me there, Ernie is this big coloured guy that plays the piano. He's a terrific snob, but he really can play the piano. But sometimes he plays, you can tell he's the sorta guy who won't talk to you unless your a big shot.
Monday, 10 September 2007
The Lavender Room
I didn't feel like staying in that depressing room, so I went and got ready to go down to the Lavender room, which is at the hotel. While I was getting ready I had a thought of calling my kid sister Pheobe, but it was pretty late so it wouldn't have been her answering. Even if it was my Mum would know its me, she phsycic, she always knows its me.
She kills me Pheobe, she really does. She's so clever, straight A's since she started school! Infact everyone in my families pretty bright, except me. She's really good to talk to aswell, and she knows what your on about! You would really like her, I swear to god. She likes to write these stories, they are all about some kid called Hazel Weatherfield. Only Pheobe calls her Hazle. Anyway, this girl is a detective. She really is a bright kid Pheobe, she kills me she really does.
I went downstairs and could hear the band playing in the Lavender Lounge so I went in. It was really quiet in there but they still gave me a lousy table. I couldn't get served in there, because i'm a minor. I didn't hold it against the guy who was serving me though, they can lose their jobs if they get caught serving a minor. I couldn't sit in there stone cold sober any more so I got the hell out!
I gave some three witches on the table next to me the eye, they laughed like goddam hyenas! I shoulda given them the freeze but I really felt like dancing! So I went over and asked them if any of them would like to dance, well that goddam sent them giggling again! God they were morons. But I asked again! Mainly to the blonde one who was at least half good looking. She gave in in the end! Goddam she was a good dancer! She didn't actually pay any attention to me, she was looking everywhere round the room, but she really was a goddam good dancer!
She kills me Pheobe, she really does. She's so clever, straight A's since she started school! Infact everyone in my families pretty bright, except me. She's really good to talk to aswell, and she knows what your on about! You would really like her, I swear to god. She likes to write these stories, they are all about some kid called Hazel Weatherfield. Only Pheobe calls her Hazle. Anyway, this girl is a detective. She really is a bright kid Pheobe, she kills me she really does.
I went downstairs and could hear the band playing in the Lavender Lounge so I went in. It was really quiet in there but they still gave me a lousy table. I couldn't get served in there, because i'm a minor. I didn't hold it against the guy who was serving me though, they can lose their jobs if they get caught serving a minor. I couldn't sit in there stone cold sober any more so I got the hell out!
I gave some three witches on the table next to me the eye, they laughed like goddam hyenas! I shoulda given them the freeze but I really felt like dancing! So I went over and asked them if any of them would like to dance, well that goddam sent them giggling again! God they were morons. But I asked again! Mainly to the blonde one who was at least half good looking. She gave in in the end! Goddam she was a good dancer! She didn't actually pay any attention to me, she was looking everywhere round the room, but she really was a goddam good dancer!
The Edmont Hotel
As soon as I get off the train I went to a phone booth. I needed to speak to someone. There were a few people I planned on calling, I stood in that goddam phonebooth contemplating calling them, but I ended up not calling anyone. After coming out of the phonebooth, it took about 20 minutes untill I ended up walking over to get a cab.
I can be so goddam absent minded sometimes, I gave the cab driver my usual address, you know out of habit and all. It took me a bit to realise and I finally asked him if he could turn round, he was sorta a wise guy and told me how he couldn't turn round there. All of a sudden, something crossed my mind, so I asked the cab driver where the ducks go in the winter. He looked at me as though I was a madman and thought I was kidding him, the conversation was soon dropped. By the time we got to nineteenth where he could turn round I decided I didn't want to stay anywhere at the East Side incase I bumped into anyone I knew, so I went back downtown. I asked him to join me but he didn't, so with my red hunting hat on i got out of the cab. Of course I took it off before I checked in, I didn't want to look like a screwball or anything, which was ironic as the place was full of them!
I was given this really crumby room, it was very depressing although, the bellboy that showed me to it looked even more depressing! Oh god some of the views I saw through the windows. The hotel was full of perverts. For example there was this couple squirting water through each other out of their mouths. And this other guy got out loades of womans clothes, and put them on! I was probarbly the only normal bastard in the whole goddam place.
I can be so goddam absent minded sometimes, I gave the cab driver my usual address, you know out of habit and all. It took me a bit to realise and I finally asked him if he could turn round, he was sorta a wise guy and told me how he couldn't turn round there. All of a sudden, something crossed my mind, so I asked the cab driver where the ducks go in the winter. He looked at me as though I was a madman and thought I was kidding him, the conversation was soon dropped. By the time we got to nineteenth where he could turn round I decided I didn't want to stay anywhere at the East Side incase I bumped into anyone I knew, so I went back downtown. I asked him to join me but he didn't, so with my red hunting hat on i got out of the cab. Of course I took it off before I checked in, I didn't want to look like a screwball or anything, which was ironic as the place was full of them!
I was given this really crumby room, it was very depressing although, the bellboy that showed me to it looked even more depressing! Oh god some of the views I saw through the windows. The hotel was full of perverts. For example there was this couple squirting water through each other out of their mouths. And this other guy got out loades of womans clothes, and put them on! I was probarbly the only normal bastard in the whole goddam place.
Mrs Morrow
It was too late to call a cab, so I walked all the way to the station. It wasn't far or anything. Most of the times I like riding on trains, especially at night. I usually read those dumbass stories in magazines and buy a ham sandwich or something. This time though, I didn't really feel like it. So I just sat there and did nothing.
All of a sudden some woman came and sat besides me. She left her bag right out in the aisle where anyone could trip over it! Goddam kill me women do! Turns out the woman was a Mum of Ernest Morrow, who goes to Pencey. I started shootin' the old crap about Ernest and Pencey. It was something to do. I told her my name was Rudolph Schmidt, no point telling her my real name. I didn't actually really like Ernest, he was one of them bastards that would run around hitting everyones arses with a rolled up towel. I didn't tell his Mum that though, Mums always want to hear how popular their kids are. So I told her how everyone loved him but he was so modest and shy.
She was nice this mother, she was charming, and had alot of sex appeal too. She looked nice when she smoked.
She asked why I was out of school early, so I told her I was having a minor operation. On my brain. Due to a small tumour. She looked really worried, but not in a phoney way or anything.
I asked her for a drink or something but she refused, not in a bad way though. I didn't hold it against her!
Before we went our seperate ways she told me I must go and visit Morrow sometime, I told her it would be great but I wouldn't go visit that sunuvabitch Morrow for all the dough in the world. Even if I was desperate.
All of a sudden some woman came and sat besides me. She left her bag right out in the aisle where anyone could trip over it! Goddam kill me women do! Turns out the woman was a Mum of Ernest Morrow, who goes to Pencey. I started shootin' the old crap about Ernest and Pencey. It was something to do. I told her my name was Rudolph Schmidt, no point telling her my real name. I didn't actually really like Ernest, he was one of them bastards that would run around hitting everyones arses with a rolled up towel. I didn't tell his Mum that though, Mums always want to hear how popular their kids are. So I told her how everyone loved him but he was so modest and shy.
She was nice this mother, she was charming, and had alot of sex appeal too. She looked nice when she smoked.
She asked why I was out of school early, so I told her I was having a minor operation. On my brain. Due to a small tumour. She looked really worried, but not in a phoney way or anything.
I asked her for a drink or something but she refused, not in a bad way though. I didn't hold it against her!
Before we went our seperate ways she told me I must go and visit Morrow sometime, I told her it would be great but I wouldn't go visit that sunuvabitch Morrow for all the dough in the world. Even if I was desperate.
Gettin the hell outta Pencey
I went through to see old Ackley, I knew he would be awake with all the noise. He didn't sound all too pleased at being woken up. I turned the light on and he seemed pretty shocked when he saw me! I told him i'd had a goddam tiff with Stradlater, well that was a bit of an understatement but I didn't make that clear.
I told old Ackley I was stayin there the night, he wasn't a good host i'll tell you that! He soon fell asleep, don't know how he goddam did it. This was after a grilling about what me and Stradlater were fighting about. I didn't tell him though, told him I didn't want to bore him with it.
Anyway, it was depressing in that room. I got so goddam lonely, I even had an urge to wake Ackley up. I tried to do it quietly, so Stradlater wouldn't hear through the shower curtain. Didn't work though, he slept like a goddam rock. I shouted, he heard that alright and again, he wasn't too impressed at being woken up.
I got up, I couldn't be bothered with it in there anymore. I got hold of Ackleys hand and shook it. I was being very sincere with him but he told me I was being a wise guy. I didn't really listen after that, I just ignored him and walked out of the door.
It was really quiet out in the corridor, everyone was alseep or out. Then it crossed my mind. I decided I just wanted to get the hell outta Pencey. Why wait till Wednesday? I went back to the room and got my stuff, old stradlater didn't even wake up.
I sorta got depressed packing, didn't stop though. After i'd packed I counted my dough. I had quite alot, from my birthday and such like.
I was ready to go, I started to cry, sorta. I shouted at the top of my voice "Sleep tight, ya morons" and got the hell outta there!
I told old Ackley I was stayin there the night, he wasn't a good host i'll tell you that! He soon fell asleep, don't know how he goddam did it. This was after a grilling about what me and Stradlater were fighting about. I didn't tell him though, told him I didn't want to bore him with it.
Anyway, it was depressing in that room. I got so goddam lonely, I even had an urge to wake Ackley up. I tried to do it quietly, so Stradlater wouldn't hear through the shower curtain. Didn't work though, he slept like a goddam rock. I shouted, he heard that alright and again, he wasn't too impressed at being woken up.
I got up, I couldn't be bothered with it in there anymore. I got hold of Ackleys hand and shook it. I was being very sincere with him but he told me I was being a wise guy. I didn't really listen after that, I just ignored him and walked out of the door.
It was really quiet out in the corridor, everyone was alseep or out. Then it crossed my mind. I decided I just wanted to get the hell outta Pencey. Why wait till Wednesday? I went back to the room and got my stuff, old stradlater didn't even wake up.
I sorta got depressed packing, didn't stop though. After i'd packed I counted my dough. I had quite alot, from my birthday and such like.
I was ready to go, I started to cry, sorta. I shouted at the top of my voice "Sleep tight, ya morons" and got the hell outta there!
Stradlater and Jane
Goddam I was worried about Stradlater and Jane! I mean, I have been on a double date with Stradlater, I know what he is like! He came in and asked why it was so quiet. Only a stupid person would ask that on a Saturday night. It was pretty obvious that everyone was either out, asleep or home for the weekend. He didn't say a goddam word about Jane, he just asked whether I had written the goddam compositon for him.
All he did was complain about the goddam thing! Saying how it was supposed to be about a room or house or something! He said despcriptive and I made it despcriptive as hell. God damn he was angry, he really was. In the end I tore it up, he was so goddam ungrateful.
In the end we got onto talking about Jane. I asked him if he gave her my regards, he said yeah! ha. Like hell he did. He told me about how they had no time to go to New York. That got me thinking, after a while I asked him where he actually went, by this time I was getting really nervous, boy I couldn't even keep my voice from shaking. He got Ed Banky's car, I thought I may aswell ask whether he gave her the time in Ed Banky's goddam car, I had to know, I really did! He didn't tell me, I can't actually remember the next bit too well. I just know that I jumped from the bed and aimed to smack right in the goddam toothbrush. I missed though, only got the side of his head or something. It probably didn't hurt him as much as I wanted it to. Goddam he got me mad, we ended up fighting. I came off much worse. He really is tough Stradlater.
All he did was complain about the goddam thing! Saying how it was supposed to be about a room or house or something! He said despcriptive and I made it despcriptive as hell. God damn he was angry, he really was. In the end I tore it up, he was so goddam ungrateful.
In the end we got onto talking about Jane. I asked him if he gave her my regards, he said yeah! ha. Like hell he did. He told me about how they had no time to go to New York. That got me thinking, after a while I asked him where he actually went, by this time I was getting really nervous, boy I couldn't even keep my voice from shaking. He got Ed Banky's car, I thought I may aswell ask whether he gave her the time in Ed Banky's goddam car, I had to know, I really did! He didn't tell me, I can't actually remember the next bit too well. I just know that I jumped from the bed and aimed to smack right in the goddam toothbrush. I missed though, only got the side of his head or something. It probably didn't hurt him as much as I wanted it to. Goddam he got me mad, we ended up fighting. I came off much worse. He really is tough Stradlater.
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